Hodge Podge……………About Me!

Hodge Podge

I like sweet potatoes but I don’t like sweet potato pie, for this my black card is checked quite often. It’s not like I said I don’t like greens I just could go without the crust of a pie wrapped around sweet potato mush. I want to become a vegetarian but I like bacon a lot it is the one thing that keeps me from vegging out! Food sometimes is my best friend and most times my worst enemy. I would much rather dance to house music old school hip hop or good ol’ foot stomping gospel music than listen to another sad love song. I like to move to the beat not sway to it. If I’m sweating and you’re sweating I think it is a good idea to keep that hot funky mess away from each other. No telling what science project may form from that! I’ll skip the slow dance so don’t ask. There are days that as a fat girl I would like to get hit on as much as that fat guy does. And sometimes let the guy that hits on me be skinny!!! However he would never get a chance to get any of this fineness because…………………..Eww he too skinny!!! Why does my hair grow up instead of down? I’ll explain, when my hair grows it goes straight up! So most of my length is at the top of my head, weird right?? Speaking of hair, about five years ago I decided to go au natural! Yup I am somewhat chemical free, I say somewhat because I still dye my hair. Not frequently though, the front of my head is practically white. I started graying or is it greying……anyway I started graying when I turned 22 years old. I’ll never forget I looked in the mirror and there it was a tiny gray/grey hair. So now when I pick up my son from school of course they say “oh your grandmother is here!” Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Not that I am too young to be a grandmother but I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!  I would like to know who decided that bacon and eggs are for breakfast? I would prefer it for dinner but the powers that be have dictated that it should be for breakfast. Thank God for Denny’s and IHOP who throws up the middle finger to those dictators!!! When I shop for clothes why do all fat girl stores think we are all built the same? I have hips and butt however, my waist is small and I don’t have a big stomach, what I am really trying to say is under all of this voluptuousness is……………………BEYONCE!!!! Yes I am built just like her just less money to maintain such work of art. Oh but if I did have it baby let’s just say every time I walked down the street you would always hear the opening horns of Crazy in Love!!! Who am I kidding you can hear it now when I walk down the street, only it’s muffled by the sound of my thighs rubbing. Which is why I don’t wear nylons, pantyhose, stockings or whatever you want to call them. Cannot stand the sound of the thighs rubbing in them. It really irks me when I hear them on skinny women, HEY lady you are skinny!!!!! I shouldn’t hear that coming from under your dress!!!! Is it wrong to have such a huge crush on Denzel Washington? I mean this man is like a fine wine………..you know the rest! I’ve only seen Training Day once, I cannot take Denzel being a bad guy. One of these days I am going to finish my great american novel, but until then this is it.

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Author: AKB

I'm a dreamer, a doer, a giver, a writer, and blessed to bless others!!!

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